We are a society of storytellers and when women gather to share their stories together, it’s deeply healing, transformative and magical.

There is power in the collective through sharing common ground because we realize we are not alone in our struggles and desires. Connection gives us strength, experience and hope for our own journeys. We gain confidence and clarity when we share our truth together..

In our divided and disconnected world, intending to understand each other is vital. Connecting through conversation is healing for ourselves and each other. To healing our deepest wounds, we need to reach them locked away in the shadowy recess of our soul, and when someone directly addresses to them, they’re easier to identify. We call on the light bearers to mirror back to us what we’ve concealed within. 

When our words reveal our inner world, we heal. 

Our words are the spells of our lives and with them we’re able to re-write our stories, flip the script and redefine our happy endings. 

The ancient medicine of storytelling is available to each of us. Women’s circles offer us the opportunity for connected conversations with strangers.

If you’ve heard the call to gather women from their hiding places and secret spaces… these are the 10 steps for you to follow to hold a safe container for a women’s circle.

10 Steps to holding a women’s circle

1. Prepare the ceremony. 

This two-fold service sets the scene for a caring, nurturing environment.

Clean by sweeping, dusting, scrubbing, and polishing. Dust stores stale energy, so remove all dirt and debris. 

Tidy away clutter and chaos to remove visual distractions. The focus should remain within the group. If it doesn’t complement the purpose of the conversation, remove it (shoes, children’s toys, cat’s litter boxes, empty coffee cups, discarded clothing – put it all away).

2. Cleanse the space.

Cleanse the space with a smudge stick, Palo Santo, essential oil diffuser, salt in the corners of the room (whatever is most aligned to your practice). Address each corner, crevice, and doorway before your guests arrive. 

3. Set the scene.

Holistically incorporate five elements (use at least one, but all is best)

Earth: Fresh flowers 

Fire: Lit candles

Water: A jug of water 

Air: A fan or heater 

And if it’s in person, include nourishment with tea and even soul with food or snacks (like chocolate and fruit). 

4. Invite Spirit in.

Invite Sprit through scent. Either by burning sage, Palo Santo, oils or lighting scented candles. Verbalize your own invocation. It can be as simple as, “I call on Spirit to full and purify this pace. May you be here now”.

5. Set your intention.

Set an intention for the space. Something like:

My intention is to create a safe, held space for the women to share, connect and heal tonight. 

May I be of my highest service in this women’s circle. 

May I listen, respect, encourage and honor each woman, replacing all judgment with love, grace, and acceptance. And may I offer me the same compassion as I offer others. 

The space is now sacred.

6. Upon arrival.

As each woman arrives, have her do something:

Suggestions include: 

  • Get a drink or snack
  • Remove her shoes
  • Silence her phone
  • Put her bag down
  • Write her intention
  • Read something
  • Light a candle
  • Get a blanket

7. Open the space.

When all the women have arrived, have everyone sit in a circle (or mute themselves if it’s online).

Welcome them and explain the proceedings of the event, with any housekeeping rules and regulations (how to use the interactive screen functions or where the bathroom and exit is). 

Ask that everyone stay for the duration of the circle, leaving only to visit the bathroom and return. 

8. Make introductions.

Introduce yourself, how you came to be here, and your intention for the gathering. 

Let each woman do the same, following the circle clockwise or counter-clockwise. 

Prompt with intentional words like:

To connect

To reveal

To discover

To heal

9. Ground into the space.

Invite everyone to sit up straight, close their eyes and take three deep breaths in through their nose and out through their mouth. Then, after a moment of silence, say,

I now open the sacred space of our women’s circle. In gratitude for your presence here, let us begin. 

10. Begin the circle.

Proceed with an overview of the event’s agenda, the topic for conversation, and sharing guidelines (talking stick, hands up to share, cross talk, no crosstalk, etc).

During the circle, ensure that every woman shares and asks questions. 

As the conversation comes to a close. Ground into the space before closing.

Congratulations, you’ve successfully learned how to host a women’s circle.

P.S: If you would like to create a women’s circle but don’t have a conversation starter, visit the Rebella blog and pick any of the blogs to use as the reading and conversation starter for your women’s circle. To join a Rebella Women’s Circle, click here. Create your own circle to start a conversation from anywhere in the world. 

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